Comparison versus the search for beauty.
Let's talk about comparison, why don't we? Because it seems to always turn into more than comparison, doesn't it? It seems that when we compare we feel envy, competition, dissatisfaction. It's not just me, right?
A couple weeks ago, I had to talk myself out of moment of weakness. In a concert hall full of testosterone-oozing metalheads, I wasn't expecting to feel such a blow to my ego. However as soon as the singer stepped on the stage, I felt myself sizing her up, comparing myself to her. She had an amazing body, accompanied by an amazing outfit that showed it off quite well. She had an incredible singing voice. She had a presence that commanded every person's attention. She had mine.
I was more than envious. "I'm never going to be like her."
I had to repeat to myself, "comparison is the thief of joy" until I had quieted some negative thoughts, I broke down the reasons why I was feeling so down.
She's talented. She's beautiful. She's confident. All eyes are on her.
I thought, "Okay. Now how does this affect you?"
I couldn't come up with a single thing.
Instead of seeing good and being thankful for a confident woman like herself, I was only bringing negativity into the world with my envy. Her talent, her beauty, her confidence does not take away from me. I am not any less because she is! There isn't a certain amount of talent, beauty and confidence in the world and she was taking it away from me. There is no race to gather all the beauty in the world and hoard it for yourself. There's no box you can put confidence in, just in case someone else has too much and you need a little extra.
To think of her as competition is to belittle the world. To think of her as competition is to say there is only a certain amount of beauty in the world.
The world cannot run out of beauty. With that pressure taken off my back, I will actively seek beauty, strength, talent.
Instead of comparing myself to others, I'm making a conscious effort to find beauty. My friends' weight loss doesn't make me any less lean, my friends' PRs don't make me weaker, her talent doesn't make me less so.
This is not a race. This is not a competition. This is joy.
Yay! I found another strong woman! Yay! That woman is incredibly confident! Yay! I found more beauty.
What a strong way to think.